So this is what I know of my child so far: She lives with her grandmother. Her mother I think has been involved in drugs in the past and is now living on her own. Whenever my student sees her mom, she usually acts out in the classroom. At the beginning of the year she had just seen her mom and the time before that her mom told her she was going to make a place for her at her house. However, when she visited, she had not made a place for her. In class, my student refused to follow directions, threw a crayon, started screaming and crying, threw herself on the ground then started throwing chairs. After talking to her grandmother, we found out the situation and that she struggles with trust and feeling like she is not being abandoned.
A lot of the time she will act out refusing to follow directions. She also is a huge tattler. She craves attention. She is extremely smart in literacy, but struggles with her math skills. I have had issues with her lately being disrespectful. Although she’s been disrespectful and refused to follow directions, we have had a really good end of the week. She is a child that I have to constantly speak to firmly or else she does not respond. However, she always comes up to me to give me hugs every morning and tells me she loves me. She knows that I love her and care for her. I decided that I needed to be more intentional about the times where she was having positive behavior, so I started praising her doing good things. Thursday and Friday were a great success, and I believe it was due to this fact.
A couple of weeks ago, I sat down with her after she was being disruptive in class and asked her why she acted the way she did and what she was thinking when she acted that way. She was not able to respond with much. I wanted to be the one that could listen in the conversation, but it ended up being ok. I got to explain to her that I wanted her to be successful in school and I could only help her be successful if she let me. We talked about her being disruptive in class and how that affected her classmates learning as well as hers. I wanted to do this to build more of a relationship with her and sit down and talk through things with her. I hope to be able to do this again if there is another time where she acts out hugely. This I hope was a foundation.
Hi Emily,
I really like that you talked one on one with your students to let her know that you care for her as an individual, and not just as part of the class. I think this is so important in developing a relationship that is strong. My student is on his best behavior when he is trying to “impress” or get praise from myself of another teacher. And although we constantly praise him when he is doing the right thing or good work, he will at times try so hard to get more praise. I think (and hope) that he knows how much we love and care for him and is trying to make us proud of him. I think that forming a strong and trusting relationship with students is a major step to overcoming bad behavior.
I believe that showing your students that you care is a great way to start working on their behavior. The students that crave attention are normally the ones that are acting out. I noticed at the beginning of the year a little boy in my class wanted attention at all times. He would do whatever he could to get attention and mostly negative behavior. We decided that in order for him to be successful in the classroom we needed to make sure he got attention. Every morning we check in with him and make sure to say hi and ask how he is. During the day we check in again by showing him attention and asking him how he is doing. At the end of the day I ask him for a smile before he leaves so that we know he had a good day. This is a great way to give him attention and now his behavior problem is gone and he feels much better in the class. I miss you!
It is going to be interesting to hear your story. She might truly benefit from this experience. From what it looks like, you have already made some progress… What to go.